You Might be a Grouse Hunter if…

I saw this on a forum and just had to share it. It seems the origin is unknown.

You might be a grouse hunter if …

  • Nobody knows where you really hunt
  • Only your wife (or husband) has the GPS coordinates for Search & Rescue
  • She/he could care less
  • Obviously you know what “ruffed” means
  • You’ve ever successfully pulled off a “shot from the hip”
  • The floorboard of your truck is covered with empties
  • The side pockets on the doors of your truck are full of empties
  • The dashboard has 2 left-handed gloves
  • There’s a bottle of Ibuprofen in the glove box
  • The top of the dresser is covered with empties
  • Your legs lock up in the middle of the night
  • Your hands don’t heal up till Easter
  • You like a dog with “ticks”
  • You don’t mind being alone (actually prefer it)
  • Your favorite pants have never been washed
  • You miss a lot
  • You don’t care that you miss a lot
  • You’ve been “turned around” but never lost
  • You know how to use a compass
  • Your dog box is in the back of your truck year-round
  • Your dog rides in the cab with you (and locks-up between the back and front seats on the prettiest points on Robins on the power-lines overhead…eh Hatch and Dan, you know who you are…)
  • At least one of your kids has ridden in the dog box
  • Your hat falls off a lot
  • Your dog can “hunt dead” for a lost glove
  • You can say “King Ruff” & “Thunder King” with a straight face
  • You’ve ever traded a deer rifle in on a shotgun
  • You keep pictures of your dog at the office (or in your wallet, on your cell-phone, or as your computer wallpaper)
  • You can’t wait for the leaves to fall
  • You think strip mines look kinda nice
  • You’ve ever slept on the couch with a setter pup
  • You keep finding feathers on the floor
  • You find dog hair in your cereal
  • Your dogs wear “jingle bells” on Christmas
  • You’re tired of hearing, “You hunt what??”
  • You keep shooting at the birds even after you can’t see them anymore
  • Have one leg longer than the other from walking on the sides of them d%^&& hills in PA (or MI or ME)…
  • Have a Gazetteer and County map book on your dashboard
  • Dinner is a bag of Doritos and a few beers (or a cup of coffee)
  • Have had a dog point a bear, skunk, deer or rabbit
  • If you harvest more timber with a load of 7.5’s then the local timber company does. This is known as the Dolmeyer Phenomenon
  • When someone shuffles a deck of cards and you instinctively shout “grouse”
  • You understand that clear cutting is beneficial for wildlife.
  • When it comes to shooting grouse my motto is “spray and pray”
  • And when people asked how many birds you got you reply, “I got three,” never telling them they were timber doodles

We can all add a few to that, couldn’t we?

How about:

  • When considering purchasing a vehicle, it has to be able to fit your 10-hole dog topper, all your gear, pull the dog trailer, and get good gas mileage?
  • part of every paycheck goes for the savings for the fall hunting trips, new astro collar, new dog box, gun, or shells?
  • The only latin you know is Bonasa umbellus

Now, it’s your turn to add some!

Dan adds:

  • You are constantly getting questions from the neighbors asking what your dog doing when he is pointing a bird in the yard.
  • You are always getting comments, “Boy does that dog have a lot of energy!”
  • You call the dog “brown eyes” in front of the wife … and have to take her on a cruise to get her over it. 🙂 🙂
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