You Might be a Grouse Hunter if…

I saw this on a forum and just had to share it. It seems the origin is unknown.

You might be a grouse hunter if …

• Nobody knows where you really hunt
• Only your wife (or husband) has the GPS coordinates for Search & Rescue
• She/he could care less
• Obviously you know what “ruffed” means
• You’ve ever successfully pulled off a “shot from the hip”
• The floorboard of your truck is covered with empties
• The side pockets on the doors of your truck are full of empties
• The dashboard has 2 left-handed gloves
• There’s a bottle of Ibuprofen in the glove box
• The top of the dresser is covered with empties
• Your legs lock up in the middle of the night
• Your hands don’t heal up till Easter
• You like a dog with “ticks”
• You don’t mind being alone (actually prefer it)
• Your favorite pants have never been washed
• You miss a lot
• You don’t care that you miss a lot
• You’ve been “turned around” but never lost
• You know how to use a compass
• Your dog box is in the back of your truck year-round
• Your dog rides in the cab with you (and locks-up between the back and front seats on the prettiest points on Robins on the power-lines overhead…eh Hatch and Dan, you know who you are…)
• At least one of your kids has ridden in the dog box
• Your hat falls off a lot
• Your dog can “hunt dead” for a lost glove
• You can say “King Ruff” & “Thunder King” with a straight face
• You’ve ever traded a deer rifle in on a shotgun
• You keep pictures of your dog at the office (or in your wallet, on your cell-phone, or as your computer wallpaper)
• You can’t wait for the leaves to fall
• You think strip mines look kinda nice
• You’ve ever slept on the couch with a setter pup
• You keep finding feathers on the floor
• You find dog hair in your cereal
• Your dogs wear “jingle bells” on Christmas
• You’re tired of hearing, “You hunt what??”
• You keep shooting at the birds even after you can’t see them anymore
• Have one leg longer than the other from walking on the sides of them d%^&& hills in PA (or MI or ME)…
• Have a Gazetteer and County map book on your dashboard
• Dinner is a bag of Doritos and a few beers (or a cup of coffee)
• Have had a dog point a bear, skunk, deer or rabbit
• If you harvest more timber with a load of 7.5’s then the local timber company does. This is known as the Dolmeyer Phenomenon
• When someone shuffles a deck of cards and you instinctively shout “grouse”
• You understand that clear cutting is beneficial for wildlife.
• When it comes to shooting grouse my motto is “spray and pray”
• And when people asked how many birds you got you reply, “I got three,” never telling them they were timber doodles

We can all add a few to that, couldn’t we?

How about:

• When considering purchasing a vehicle, it has to be able to fit your 10-hole dog topper, all your gear, pull the dog trailer, and get good gas mileage?
• part of every paycheck goes for the savings for the fall hunting trips, new astro collar, new dog box, gun, or shells?
• The only latin you know is Bonasa umbellus

Now, it’s your turn to add some!

Dan adds:

• You are constantly getting questions from the neighbors asking what your dog doing when he is pointing a bird in the yard.
• You are always getting comments, “Boy does that dog have a lot of energy!”
• You call the dog “brown eyes” in front of the wife … and have to take her on a cruise to get her over it. 🙂 🙂